I can't lose it, 'cos this is who I am, and I am already losing it. I can feel the spiral of conformism shaking my bones every day. Sometimes I told myself "it is not that bad", I can handle it. Eventually, this is what I was born. No, not at all.
This ain't me. I do NOT do this kind of things. I do not like kids, or cooking. I like reading, and murderous heroes from bloody movies. I like that feeliing of not being part of it. I like being ME. Why should I follow them? There are 27,000 individuals in my town, all looking foward the same hot shit. I don't want that shit, I just want to be myself.
But they are trapping me, like a beast in a dark forest. Hunting my illusions. I have to leave, soon. Or at least try to keep my brain straight. I can do this, but not eternally.
While they think about jobs, and mortage and children, I keep denying reality. I keep talking to myself everywhere: in my car, 'cos there is no radio; and at home, when I am alone; and sometimes outside my house, so absorted in my internal non-existent world. Always in English, the language of the person I would like to be.
Which language did your heart choose? It doesn't matter if you cannot speak it.
You all mass individuals can keep the "this is my land" lecture forever, I will never want to owe a thing. And at the same time, I have to store things to buy my freedom. It is not that I am a whore, but sometime I just feel like one. Sell your body to save your soul. Work, get married, store riches... and you would earn those few decisive seconds during which you could think about who you are.
Maybe I am diverting too mucho from my main topic, and I already lost my point. Anyway, I know I had a point there, it is just that I am confused. Or that I am mad as a fucking hatter. But who isn't?
PD: Gracias a Tsuyu por dejarme su dollfie para el mini-reportaje improvisado de hace unos meses. La veréis en otras entradas y es gracias a que ella me la dejó.
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